A new tooth popped through on Monday and I was totally surprised at where it popped through at. I was expecting the next set of teeth to come in on the top but I guess that would be too normal. Bryce's third tooth came in on the bottom left. So I guess the next tooth will be beside of the bottom right tooth? Who the hell knows... Normal is totally over rated if you ask me anyway.
I had my yearly pap today, good times...
I love my ob/gyn and he actually delivered my son. Though I was not at the hospital when Bryce's birth mother delivered. It was nice to be able to tell my doctor, that has went through the whole hell ride of infertility with me, that he delivered my son. He was so happy for us. We had a lovely chat after the Pap smear. I told him what I've told hundreds of others, I would go through all of the shit again if I knew that Bryce was going to be part of the plan. I literally would not change one little thing. My only regret is that we didn't move to adoption sooner. But, I had to know in my heart that I gave it my all trying to conceive on my own before moving forward with adoption. My doctor agreed. I guess it's just something that you have to go through before moving forward and closing the chapter.
Things have been a little crazy for me lately. I got hit with a whammy pregnancy announcement by a "so-called" friend. "So called"(SC for short) has yet to meet my son, did not come to my baby shower, and knows what I've went through to get where I'm at. SC blew my phone up the day she took her pregnancy test and tested positive. Yet, SC has not called me in months before this. SC had the nerve to talk about "our children" growing up together and playing together as they will only be a little over a year apart. Yet, "SC" as I said earlier, has yet to meet Bryce. Bryce will be 8 months in 2 weeks and she does not even know him.
I'm happy for her but what hurts the most is she has yet to meet Bryce and has made no effort to do so. It's really bothering me a lot now that he's getting older. It just hurts. I mean for fuck's sake, I've waited for fucking years to have a child. I've offered to go to her house. I've offered to fucking do back flips and there is always some sort of excuse from her. "I'm tired, I'm sick", "my house is dirty", "blah, blah, blah". I really don't think SC is a friend if you want to know the truth. Things have been pretty strained with us for years. And, well now, I just feel completely "used". It's like the only time she calls is when she needs something, like support, or a shoulder to cry on, or to announce her pregnancy. Yet, she makes no effort to return the support or the shoulder. She never ask about my son, my husband, or my family. She knows my mother is not well, I told her several months ago the situation with her. Yet she does not ask one single question about my mother. The conversations are always one sided, mostly her rambling on about herself.
So, I guess I need to just make peace with it and let it go. I have lots of friends that are genuine and there for me and it's 50/50. You know we both give, and we both take when needed. This whole pregnancy announcement kind of got me down a little and I seriously thought I was past all of that shit. I guess some scars just run too deep...
