Nomad's Land

Let's Do This

I'm already hungry and pissed off.  I can't eat anything or drink anything today.  That just pisses me off considering surgery isn't until 4 o'clock this afternoon.  Wonderful.  Do you know what a bitch I am without my morning java? 

My feet hit the floor in the morning and the the next thing my body does is go make coffee.  I'm thinking of actually having a cup.  I mean it would be different if my surgery was the first thing in the morning.  But, no liquids or food past midnight and now I have to wait until about 7 o'clock this evening to eat or drink anything  if we even get out by then.  That's just bullshit. And I also know that when I recover from surgery I normally don't feel like eating at all.  I'm not good with food when I'm in pain! Yes, can you tell I'm in a lovely mood this morning?

I hate this shit, hate everything about it.  I know I'm bitching but fuck, this is my blog so I'm going to bitch today.  I just woke up angry this morning.

So here's to to the uterine septum fucking surgery going smoothly!

Thank you to those of you who have wished me well.  It means a lot to know that I have people out there thinking of me and wishing me well.  My own mother has not even called and she knows what today is.   So thank you for caring.  Okay, let's do this I'm starting to get a little teary-eyed and bitches don't cry. 

Do you think it would be extremely bad if I said screw the orders and had 1/2 cup of coffee this morning?  I mean come on it's 6:30 a.m. in the morning.  I think I'll be okay by 4 p.m.!

Just A Minor Freak Out!

Yep, I kind of flipped out this morning.  I don't know if it's from anxiety about this surgery Thursday or the whole family drama going on with my mother, but I freaked.

My mother is insane people.  Literally insane.  She's driving me crazy.  She's in an abusive relationship with husband #1000 and she's in total denial.  She thinks that everything is her fault.  Um... getting your ass kicked by your husband is not your fault.  Just because you've been "under stress".  If that was the case, I would get my ass kicked on a daily basis, because B and I stay stressed 80 percent of the time.  There are 4 stages that abusive women go through. Denial, guilt, enlightenment, and then empowerment.  I just pray that my mother wises up and realizes that a man laying his hands on her is NOT HER FAULT.  There is really no talking to her at this point.  All I can do is wish the best for her.  She's 54 years old and hopefully will realize that her current husband is a piece of shit, low-life, rat bastard.

Thank GOD for my husband.  Yes, he may get on my last damn nerve at times.  But, when the going gets tuff he's a rock.  I seriously know that it was in the big plan for me to marry my husband.  He's the best and I love him....  I love you B.  Thank you so much for taking care of me, and not running.  Thank you so much for caring about my family as much as I do.  And thank you so much for being the man that you are.  And no, I don't want a new diamond(you actually have 2 years left before you have to buy a new one)!  Too bad he doesn't read my blog.

Anyway, about the freak out.  With surgery looming.  I just want this shit over with.  We have to leave Thursday at 10 a.m. in order to be at the clinic at 1:00 p.m.  I have to sign a consent form.  Go get my percoset prescription filled and then be at the hospital at 1:30 p.m.   My surgery is not until 4:00 p.m.  Depending on what all has to be done to correct my fucked up uterus septum.  I figure we will not be home until 11p.m. Due to recovery and the damn 3 hour drive back home.  What a day!  I'm just praying this may be the reasons behind my previous failed cycles.  And praying that this next cycle will work.  I have an awful lot riding on it now.

On another note, here in the south.  We had quite some interesting weather this afternoon.  Snow mixed with rain.  Hello people, it was in the 80's last week... Very strange.