I really don't know what to blog about any longer.  I'm  now a mother, yes.  I'm still infertile, yes.  I've healed some, yes.  I don't know what is left to blog about and where to go with this any longer?  I use to love blogging getting all the emotional goop out about infertility this blog was my savor sometimes.  Yes, I'm still infertile.  A child will never grow in my womb, I doubt we will ever adopt another either.  But, now I'm kind of lost as where to go with this blog any longer. 

I could roll around in the misery of never being able to conceive or carry a child to term.  I could dwell on the past of all the heartache of losing six babies and failing miserably at IVF, but I'm past that.  I'm good, I really think I'm in a good place.  But, as sure as I type that statement I'll get a little surprise pang of hurt that creeps in from no where and leaves me wonding "what the fuck", I thought I was past this. 

I'm going today to visit a friend and her new baby.  Her son was born exactly one year and 2 days after my son.  So, works out really good as I've handed down lots of stuff down to her.  I'm so excited to meet the little baby and HOLD the little baby.  I can't wait.  I laughed hysterically as she called upset the other night.  "When does the baby start sleeping all night?  "When does this get better".  I tried to warn her the week before she delivered to "rest up" but she said she was ready.  She was upset as she's already lost 24 hours of sleep and doesn't know how she's ever going to make it up...  Lmao, you're not honey!  Lord forbid if they get sick, you'll lose a whole lot more.

You think friend would know this stuff as she's an ob/Gyn nurse.  She's young though and very naive. 

Anyway, I don't know what to post about and longer.  Things are good, Bryce is good, work is slow and our economy in the good ole US is all to fucking hell but I'm making it.

I'm off early today at work and I can't wait to pick my son up and meet new baby, Bryce has started showing a little jealousy of me showing other children attention here lately so this should be interesting.

I'll leave you with a couple of pictures.

 

Comments

[Kath]

Dear Kimmer, I can sympathize about your not knowing what to blog about any longer -- but I'm also a bit confused: this wasn't an official goodbye post yet, was it? I would miss your updates very much.

Thanks for your comment the other day -- it was much appreciated. I was so puzzled, though, as to why it never got published on my blog! I got it by e-mail notification twice, but it never appeared on the post itself. Very weird, and I'm sorry. You must have been wondering what was up -- as I was. But thanks again!

Bryce is such a cutie, I can't believe it. And your friend's question about sleep really made me laugh.

[beagle]

I just posted about the where to go from here question as well . . . I guess we'll both find out!

Your son is super cute . . . I can see the girls lining up at the door already!